I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
Goat milk?
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
Whatever floats your goat.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
You have goat to be kidding me.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Something’s goat to give.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
I goat this.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?