Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
Seed between the lines.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Let me plant one on ya!
That’s a bit mulch.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
We’re mint to be.
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
Herb your enthusiasm.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
I beg your garden?
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Have you botany plants lately?
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
Trowel and error.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in down-to-earth novels and movies?
Because they're plot devices.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
I’ll never leaf you.
In on the ground flora.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
I beg your garden?