God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
I’m rooting for you!
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Your good weed for the day.
Herb your enthusiasm.
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
You’re unbeleafable.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What’s a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
Let me plant one on ya!
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
I’m kind of a big dill.
All clover the world.
Long thyme no see.
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.