No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.