What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.