Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.