How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!