What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.