Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
