What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.