Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.