Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”