Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!