What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.