How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”