Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
I like you, you croc my world.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!