If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
I like you, you croc my world.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.