Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
I like you, you croc my world.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
