Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.