What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.