Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
