What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.