What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.