Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
