What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”