What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!