What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.