What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!