More candles means a bigger wish!
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
You are aged to perfection.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
I keep telling my wife I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?
You're not missing much; the punch line blows.
Yo momma so fat...
She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
Hey shawty, it’s sherbert day.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”