What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.