Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.