Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.