What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.