Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.