Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
