Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.