Did you hear they are not making yardsticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
My friend was explaining at length how he was digging holes in his backyard for water.
He was boring.
My chickens escaped and over my yard...
I wasn't expecting the coop d'etat.
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
I saw a squirrel running in circles in my yard today…
I think it lost its nuts.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
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