Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."