Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
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