What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence
...and I got to keep mine.
If your mom slaps you with high frequency -
It Hertz
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
Dad: “Son, your mother and I are thinking about moving to a square island.”
Son: “Wow really? Can I come too?”
Dad: “Four shore!”
A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain “don’t you give me that altitude!!”
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
Its hard being a teenage mother
Especially when you're a teenage male.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....
I hope they meat her expectations
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
My mother-in-law dropped her iPhone in the toilet...
I told her, "there's a CRAP for that."
I was talking to my friend and he asked me, “As a young boy was your mom strict with you?” I told him, “To be honest,...
“...my mother was never a young boy.”
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
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