How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
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