How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
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