What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
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