You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
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