I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
Doctor 1: what’s his body temperature?
Doctor 2: it’s 90 degrees.
Doctor 1: What?! That’s can’t be right!
Doctor 2: No, it is.
What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?
Vietnam Vets.
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Tell him I can't see him right now."
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
She got a divorce the next day.
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
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