How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
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