So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
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