When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
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