Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
A tree fell over in our yard but we aren't sure why.
We're looking for the root cause.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.
I don't know why, but they seem shady.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
I woke up this morning and saw two birds sitting in the sun in my backyard, eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.