Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.