How do people stop being crooks? They straighen themselves out!
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.
Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.
Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted "Yay I'm free I'm free!" A little boy yelled "So what I'm 4 I'm 4!"
What's an inmates favorite fishing equipment? Jail bait.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail? Silly Con Valley.
What's an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars.
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
What's a prisoners favorite building materials? Steal n cement.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He's the first inmate with a retired number.
What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity.
Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don't know.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.