Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.
What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He's the first inmate with a retired number.
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted "Yay I'm free I'm free!" A little boy yelled "So what I'm 4 I'm 4!"
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
How do people stop being crooks? They straighen themselves out!
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans.
Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
What's a prisoners favorite building materials? Steal n cement.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.
Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don't know.
What's an inmates favorite fishing equipment? Jail bait.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail? Silly Con Valley.
What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What's an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.