My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.