I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.
I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
Ignore your mother's bad joke, son...
It's a faux pa.
What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...
It really upped the aunty!
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
Mumbai
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
How can you tell if a tree is older than your mother?
It'll be covered in grandmoss.
If your mom slaps you with high frequency -
It Hertz
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face.
A mother mountain says to her moody teenage mountain “don’t you give me that altitude!!”
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.
It was the elephant in the womb.
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?
Vigil aunties.
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing parent.