Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
