You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.