What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.