Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.