What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.