Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"You can't sip with us."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"You had me at merlot."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Rosé all day."
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"On cloud wine."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Time to wine down."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Here for the right riesling."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"Back that glass up."
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"Partners in wine."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Great minds drink alike."
"Alcohol you later."
"Will you accept this rosé?"
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Love the wine you're with."
"I mead more wine."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
