"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Sip happens."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"No wine left behind."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Great minds drink alike."
"Partners in wine."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Rosé all day."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"It's wine o'clock."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
You’re wine in a million.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"I make pour decisions."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Say you'll be wine."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!