Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Sip, sip hooray."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Read between the wines."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
"Back that glass up."
"You're the wine that I want."
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Be kind, re-wine."
"I make pour decisions."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"No wine left behind."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"Here for the right riesling."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Love the wine you're with."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"I need to re-wine my life."