"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Sip happens."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"No wine left behind."
"Partners in wine."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"I need to re-wine my life."
"I make pour decisions."
"Time to wine down."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
"You can't sip with us."
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"On cloud wine."
"Say you'll be wine."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"You had me at merlot."
"Adulting makes me wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!