What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.